i passed by a woman today who smelled heavily of black licorice, fennel and anise seeds. she had many lines on her face from all the faces she seems to have made too many times. i thought they were beautiful, though in many ways im afraid of getting too too much older and so i guess part of me thought they were very ugly. and you know, we've talked about the heavy police presence in tunisia many times, but for the first time i felt it very strongly today and i didnt know if it made me nervous or tranquil. as a foreigner, it makes me feel the latter, but it does remind me of hierarchies and power and hierarchies of power and that all makes me feel nervous. i think i'm very good at expressing being nervous, surprised and excited. being nervously excited to be surprised, but having to pretend to be qool comes up often, but i think im quite good at that too. you might not agree, since im often making the certain faces that give me certain lines on my face, clutching your arm and/or fidgeting with your fingers. last night, i was in kairouan, which is the tunisian tinsel town. it was all lit up and full of saints and stars. we walked around a medina that was far past its closing time, ate sandwiches that weren't meant to be made and saw a light show that wasn't meant for us. i know that's vague and doesn't make much sense, but it was what happened. i walked along side a ram from the bus stop to my house today and felt more like an aries than ever. he was both a saint and a star. it was after i volunteered for the first time at the association for profoundly autistic and handicapped children. it wasn't as i had imagined, but i was very happy to have a friend with me to make eye contact with across the room when i felt the sadness that you would expect to feel in that situation. it was important for me to be there, if for nothing else than my extra set of hands kept clay out of one kids mouth and on my sweater. next time i will wear a t-shirt.
your expatriette in tunis.