& then there is everything else & no one else and that is the most magnetic place for a girl to find herself. boots feel heavy on the first day of winter, but curls like snails shells do not. i am flying south for winter and even when it does make me nervous to walk alongside a war, i know its necessary. somewhere in the aftermath is a house that could have been an olive-y home had the history not fallen in the pieces it did. thanks for the best advice, though/ i feel wildly strong. "keep your eyes open, the room will spin less. sit still and listen to what's going on around you, you have to stay present. don't cross your legs. if you do, you won't feel as much and even though it kind of hurts, it's better to feel it, it means you're awake and you're ok." i gave blood weeks ago and the nurse kept repeating these lines. in a way, it was clinical, but in a 3:02 AM space, it is more like prose.